So just when I was thinking it was too good to be true, that he is eating so well, we have hit feed bumps- expected feed bumps. This morning started with him have two projectile vomiting episodes- one at 4.30am and one at 6 am. So they got an X-ray to make sure there was no obstruction in the intestines, there was none- so they are trying to find reasons for his throw up. They thought maybe it was withdrawal, so gave him a little bit more medicine.
They are slowing down the feed advances as there is a possibility that it is too much too soon. So we are slowing down on all fronts. We will try the bottle as long as he is interested and not force it. The rest he gets in the tube. The goal is to wean him off his fentanyl, at the same time control his vomiting, at the same time try and get him to eat orally. As you can see it is all a big challenge. I tried brest feeding at the 12pm feed, he did better than yesterday but still fell asleep very soon. He was also very sleepy for his 3pm and 6 pm feeds, so got most through the tube. He did throw up small amounts after all his feeds.
It was a day by giving him some rest. He is up to 55mls now and when he gets to 60 they will stop his IV nutrition which is good news, as being too long on TPN can cause liver damage, which will be tonight. So the big thing is to watch if he can gain weight on 100% my milk.
This is becoming a vicious cycle- reduce pain medication- withdrawal-vomit-cannot keep food down-increase med to help withdrawal-makes baby sleepy-cannot drink milk. I am wondering how they break out of this- I am sure he will but it sure is confusing. I did ask in the rounds and the doctor said that as long as he gains weight and breathes fine, we can live with the throw ups. I need to remember that his stomach is not where yours or mine is, his is more to the center and it will affect his food intake.
It is going to be 4 weeks tomorrow and some days, like today, I feel my adrenaline wear off. I am tired, I am realizing I am just a mom who gave birth not long ago, haven’t had the needed recuperation time and feeling very tired today. I am sure tomorrow will be a better day, but for now, am tired, low and teary-eyed. I miss Avy like anything, I have not see him since that brief good bye Monday morning. I miss Ajit – it does get overwhelming and I miss seeing him everyday. I desperately need my boys under one roof- soon, I sure hope it is soon.
I also want to thank everyone who has been commenting and rooting for the little guy. Your words give me so much strength and hope, more than you can all imagine. I do hope I can post something in better spirits tomorrow.