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Day 34- Hope it stays stable!!

Nothing much to report today. Everything remains the same. He does okay with the bottles, still about 50%. I do, however, feel that he is spitting more from the front of his mouth while feeding. I am kinda worried that if he keeps doing it he is going to lose weight again today and we will be back to square one. I do hope, even if he does not gain today, he at least does not lose.

He has been a bit cranky with the wean of the methadone and wants to be held more. So I spent a lot of time holding him today. I have an appointment with the speech therapy people to come and help with his oral feeds that way we can work towards getting him home.

As I said before he needs to get to taking 75% by mouth and it is a slow climb. I am still hoping 2 weeks or so from now. We have the lease at this Charlottesville apartment till Oct 15th and I hope those three weeks are enough for him to come home, or else I need to make alternate arrangements. I sure hope it does not come to that.

Avy and Ajit should be back tomorrow and will surely be a lift to my spirits. It is becoming really hard these days to just hang in and wait, as he is such a normal baby and I feel like he should be home soon. We are a week into oral feeds and he is reasonably doing well for that. I need to keep in mind that it is only a little while longer.

We NICU moms often pump together and share stories and I find those times very therapeutic. Each child there has a different story, a different struggle but for all of them this feeding and eating is what keeps them there the longest. We share stories, experiences, fears, disappointments and hopes and I am so happy to have that network to get me through some rough days like today.

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